Friday, October 16, 2009

another day off...

today i had my day off (off work, i mean), and again, it was a crappy day, where i made no advances in my stupid zine project thing... like in almost every day off i have, i use it to go shopping at the supermarket for stuff i need, like food, groceries stuff and hygiene products etc etc. but today felt like i wasted all my time around doing the shopping..and sleeping.

to be honest, i slept until around 2pm, though it's not like i went to bed very late last night. i went at an usual hour, and i actually was feeling terribly sleepy after i'd been writing on my journal. i forced myself to keep awake just to finish reading a couple of zines, to continue reading a few pages on others and even to start reading a new one! it's a bit obsessive, i know...

i guess i was feeling a little bit frenzy last night because i had to grab my notebook and start writing fast, just a couple of minutes after i went to my bedroom, shortly after arriving home from work. i hadn't written in a few days and was starting to feel like i had a lot of stuff inside my mind that needed to come out, and even maybe vent some stuff about work and life in general...

it seems that writing is a good thing for my (poor) mental health; it seems to ease my mind & heart and clear my brains a bit, which can do wonders after a days/nights' work. of course, i know writing doesn't solve anything, it's not like it can make miracles and the next morning i'll wake up, go to work and everything will go wonderfully. writing doesn't make the bad things go away, it doesn't give my any more hope or happy feelings than eating great ice cream or some chocolate. sounds silly when i put it this way, but it's true.
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anyway, today seemed like a total waste of time and energy around doing the same shitty stuff i do every day off, being that today i didn't make ANYTHING at all for the zine (i really can't remember anything i might have done). well, maybe writing this crappy blog post with "updates" on my project could count as one thing? i dunno... blahh.
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it's bedtime now, tomorrow i start the first of 4 days working on the morning shift, after working the night shift for most of the past days, so it's gonna screw up my bio clock, but, who cares?...

day 1 - i'll be alone, my co-worker has his day off
day 2 - alone until around 3.30pm, when my co-worker comes in, but there's a football game up at the stadium, so it's a useless day cause there are very few costumers
day 3 - alone, it's my co-workers' sunday off day
day 4 - alone again, somehow, the person who makes our work schedules managed to give another day off in a row to my co-worker [i'm not envious or anything like that, it's just that that kind of stuff screws up our schedules and can lead to some pending and confusing orders]

at least i have those magic anxiety pills, one half every morning and i'll be doing fine ( i wished it was easier said than done!), not so much stress or worries about not finishing orders on time or having clients ask for their orders done in unrealistic time. or one of the things i hate most: having clients come at the counter just as soon as the store opens the doors; sometimes i'm still arriving with the cash box and the computer is running slow or being awkward and they are all in a hurry to get attended, like they're in the hospital emergency room or some sh*t like that... ««---- see, this is me, ranting on about my job. there you go, some lovely writings from moi-même. just a bunch of crap, isn't it?

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