Friday, October 30, 2009

friday off

what i've been up to:
finally i managed to post a list of all the stuff i'm reading, i mean the zines i've been reading lately (some of them older than others, and some i haven't actually picked up in a while now sorry, but ok) and some books i keep near in my bedroom, besides the Stolen Sharpie book. due to its small & practical size i carry it around in my bag and sometimes i (re)read it on my commutes in the subway.
i also got to "organize" my zine collection by putting zines & mail i got from individual zinesters in the last couple of months each on an separate plastic file "folder". i had done this before with the zines i got from Microcosm, filling them by themes, but since i tend to buy more issues of the zines i like most, i think it's easier to file them by title or creator.
while i was looking up zines & books, i found another notebook that was in my bedside table's drawer and there are a few texts in it, most "recent" one dates from the end of may this year. it's 4 and half pages long, and it looks like it's a good one for transcribing, maybe add it to the zine. it seems most of my texts have turned into "old" writings by now, because of how long i've been into this zine-making project... i've been witting some stuff lately, and i don't know if these old and new texts would fit well for the first issue of the zine. maybe it's too much content, to much to read? maybe yes. by the time i finish putting all texts in digital files i'll probably have enough material for making two issues hahaha!

still, this seems to be a little far from conclusion, a first issue, i mean. there's so much going on around me that it's still hard to concentrate my energy on this project, even with having the laptop in my bedroom, i'm not quite "there" yet.
there's still too much bad vibes around in the house... making me feel that i should have left when i had the (small) chance. too late for that now. maybe in a year, if i still have a job by then. and by then i'll have to start all over again the dull process of looking for ads on room renting. because the ways things are, i don't think i'll win the lottery or something and be able to buy/rent my own place, just for me (and maybe a cat, i want one so bad). and i'm definitely not going to get a raise on my current job, or find a great job that will pay me enough for such a living.
it sucks to make bad decisions on important issues of your life. it sucks not to be rich. no, really, it sucks not having enough money to be able to support yourself on a small apartment/studio/whatever and still have money for food (mostly vegan, which is more expensive than "normal" food), electricity/water/internet expenses, health expenses, and whatnot.

i'm so used to being in the night shift that i keep forgetting this weekend i'll be doing the morning shift. and that kinda sucks because i still haven't' thought about what i'll be making for tomorrows lunch at work. not that i wasn't reminded of such "obligation" a while ago, but it looked more like i was being reprimanded for something i did wrong. almost 31 and i still get treated like a f~cking child. and when they do it this way, i get even less appetite than the few i already have, and less motivation to do anything at all.

now, i've made a mess all over my bed. some plastic folders behind my left, some more on my left with mail i got today from Pippa (still have to answer her), then the pin buttons i've bought from okate and Alex/Small World Buttons, next 4 notebooks where i write my journaling stuff, next the zines i made the «currently reading» post with, my online shopping notebook (where i have a list of the stuff i buy online, who/how much/when i bought it, when it arrived, and have i answered them back or not).
on my right, it's the mail i got from Alex Wrekk, Brainscan zines, pin button, an extra cd as a goodie, thank you notes, my cellphone, a water bottle, and some other boring mail i got from an online retail clothing store.
in the middle of all this mess, there's me sitting with crossed legs, leaning over my laptop. i keep remembering i still have to go and eat dinner (perhaps what was left, if anything, from today lunch chinese food). it's getting a little late fro dinner though, and i hate it when this happens, but it's always the same sh~t in our house...
a couple of minutes ago i was hearing one of the neighbors' kids crying, or squeaking as i like to call it, and his mother yelling something at him. just not long ago i heard him running around the house and squeaking joyfully. and when things don't go the way he wants to, he just starts squeaking, and it's all just crocodile tears anyway. these kids learn pretty fast nowadays, don't they? what does this have to do with what i was writing before, about dinner? i guess not much, but it's just another thing to add up to my list of annoyances in here.

11:50pm update
something in my microsoft office went wrong and i can no longer use word to write or edit my stuff. sure, i have the trial-version that came with the laptop from the manufacturer. anyway, it sucks cause it had a really good spellchecker. i still couldn't find my away around OpenOffice's spellchecker and that totally messes up my work for the zine now! also, my Google Chrome browser (and as i'm trying it on others, so is Firefox) is acting weird with the spellchecker, specially when i'm writing posts on blogger. i don't know what happened to blogger spellchecker anyway. a few months ago i saw this option and now it's gone?

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